I messed up

Hey hey , its been awhile since I've write . I think i just need

to let out what exactly i am feeling . Hais .

Studies :

First of all , i didn't make it for my O's . So , i'm entering to ITE

but my interest is in Lassella . But my dad don't wish to pay

the school fees for me . Its okay , everything is a new path and

beginning . Chill . Okay , that's for study life .

Life :

For the past 2months i'm not doing anything nor working but just

babysitting my little brother . What a good job i get huh ? Never mind .

My mum really pissed me off at times . She'll hang with her friends

while i'm stuck at home with my little brother . But i'm really patience .

Although i'm always bored but i'll find things to do . Gotta make

myself happy , :)

Friends :

There are friends that has been there for me when i'm bored or facing

a terrible crisis . Hmm , but not all of them i can rely with my problems

or secrets because I've been exposed before . So , from that day onwards

i learnt not to expose easily . But those you had stayed to listen to me , i

really appreciate it a lot .

Love :

Yesterday i went out with my boyfriend but at the end of the day , we had a

argument . And its because of me , i started the fire . Thanks to my stupidity

feeling of lonely that trigger everything . Ever since he started working I've been

feeling alone but i can't blame him for that because i choose not to work

because if i'm gonna work , we won't have time to spend with each other and

we're about to start school in April . By that time , we have lesser time with each

other . Hmm , i don't know if he thought about it but i did . So , at least for these

3months we spend our time together but it seem like its not happening . I didn't

know i'm asking too much . I asked was a little attention , just a little . Right now ,

he is not texting me . Its as if i'm at fault . Hmm , i guess i don't deserve any attention

from anyone . I should just bottle everything in myself , that might bring peace .

This song from Demi Lovato , Skycraper , really helps me and motivate me a lot .

xoxo ,

Noriziani